..Not from Behind..

As told by my Pastor, Mentor, and Uncle, "Joana, you cannot support Myles from his behind!" Yes, he was talking to me about pastoral ministry. We have the calling..I have the calling. The mantle has been placed on us and I need to stop taking it lightly!! Yes, we have "Pastoral Hats," but those hats DO NOT come off-and I need to learn that.

Everything I do, everything I say, whenever, wherever--it needs to reflect ministry..it needs to be encouraging..it needs to express wisdom..it needs to demonstrate love-God's Love. I have been in ministry long enough that I have no excuses! The sad part is that I know it! So why am I still trying to hide behind Myles? I cannot support him from his behind! I need to stand WITH him..NEXT to him.

Tito explained to us during dinner one night that in other churches/ministries, ministers in training would jump to the chance in being up front, in being heard, in just getting the chance to minister. To them, it is an honor-a privilege that they would take advantage of. Why am I not? There are many people who would jump at this chance and here I am taking it for granted. I am always telling myself this and constantly reminding myself that I need to change my attitude; and have I? NO!..and it is very disappointing because I was brought up better than that. Yet, I complain when I do not know what to do or say when put in the ministerial position OR if I am overlooked ministerially. I need to own this mantle and be confident in the fact that I am called into ministry.

I need to immerse myself in God's presence, His love, His word; then, like Tito said, everything I do and say will just flow out ministry. I am so jealous at how effortless it is for him to speak and "ministry" comes out, but again, am I mimicking what I observe from him? Am I reading like he tells me to ALLLL the time?

OK.......no more excuses. I truly want my life to reflect ministry..to reflect God's calling and love in my life. I am just thankful that I did not realize this while it is too late.....

Here I goooo!!...